Last Tute - I'll take the Credit

Have you ever had one of those days where you can't please anyone? I thought honesty was a much valued trait that humans honour; seems like people much rather lie through their teeth to please others or themselves. I just can't.

I cannot justify giving myself a Distinction. Then again, I don't know. I'm the only who gave myself a Credit in class, and I found some of the self-assessed marks from my peers rather suspicious. Some really do deserve their marks, no questions asked. But hey, such is life isn't it?

I've never felt so uncomfortable before. I'm always Mr Know-It-All in classes; TV1 just brought out the ugly monster in me. I could always go in a self-assessment tute and give myself a High Distinction with no objections. Just like how Matt did it. Confident, without blinking and cocky. But today, I felt objectified.

Strangely, I felt like one of those losers who don't turn up for all the lectures, all the tutes and relied solely on their project mates to carry their fucking ass to pass. One of my group mates in Broadcast Media last year comes to mind. Lecturer still passed him. Are you fucking kidding me?

Anyway, what's done is done. I have justified my score, but my actions and words are perhaps somewhat unwarranted. It just came out the wrong way.

Then again, how many International Students juggle a full-time load, maintain a Distinction average in the first two years and run a university magazine? Last I checked, it's just me. Seriously, try convincing a 19yo kid to do that, and he'll laugh at my face. Right. Coz wasting money on booze, casual sex and partying is more fun that going home, completely exhausted with uni work and magazine. If anything, I deserve a High Distinction for effort expended this semester alone across all four subjects.

LOL come to think of it that's pretty much what I do all day. I do need to devote more time next semester. Geez. I don't know how I'm going to pull that off. This semester corrupted my physical and mental health. But two semesters?

Might need a shrink.